The Second Month

UPDATE Month Two on Accutane Treatment

I have now started my second month’s treatment on Isotretinoin, more commonly known as Accutane. Because of my side effects, my dermatologist suggested I remain on the same dosage as before—40 mg per day.

After my pregnancy test came back negative and my lab results concluded that everything was normal, my dermatologist, Rebecca Pedretti, suggested I take one 40mg pill twice daily on even days, and one 40mg pill once daily on odd days. Dr. Pedretti suggested that this will get my body more

accustomed to higher dosages and repeated use of the drug daily, as the months go on.

My only concern is that I was prescribed only 30 pills total; therefore, I will have several days at the end of the month without any pills at all. Dr. Pedretti assured me the Accutane remains in the patient’s system for up to 30 days after the last pill, so this will not affect me negatively.

As far as symptoms go, mine have increased for the worse. My lips can only be temporarily coaxed with constant usage of Blistex Medicated Lip Balm, and sometimes the use of Vaseline—when I’m home alone reading Harry Potter, and not planning on being seen by anyone except my dog.

My acne has reached an all time low, resulting in the worst cystic breakout of my life. Currently, the combined breakout along my lip line and my bleeding, chapped lips appear to have created a herpes-looking infection, which makeup struggles to cover. In addition, I’ve completely said goodbye to the idea of colored lipstick on days that I’m dressing up. I look similar to someone’s drunken, great aunt that doesn’t know red lipstick from a cherry Popsicle.

My optimism level is low, but I keep reminding myself that acne affects 85 percent of people ages 12 to 24, according to a study conducted by Brown University. That means 17 million people are currently suffering alongside me. In addition, Accutane results in a clearer complexion for 80 percent of patients who use it, according to my dermatologist. Still, she said that was just the straight numbers—it has worked for every patient she has ever prescribed it to.

With that in mind, it’s only a matter of time until I feel comfortable leaving the house again. I yearn for the days that I left the house freely without a dab of makeup on, calling myself a “slob kabob” in some yoga pants. I wasn’t embarrassed of myself in this condition; I just knew I wasn’t dressed in my finest.

Nowadays, leaving the house dressed in my finest still results in incredible insecurity. Makeup makes it so much easier, but it doesn’t cover the lumps across my face or the chapped lips I constantly possess. I know it’s only a matter of time until my lips go back to normal and my complexion removes the acne and scarring from my face, but sometimes that day feel so far away.

For now, stay strong with me, you 17 million others. More updates to come soon.