The Fourth Month
- Sierra Gillespie
- Nov 16, 2015
- 7 min read
UPDATE Month Four on Accutane Treatment
Onto month four of my Accutane treatment! Last month, it looked like my triglyceride levels elevated to 180—with the normal being 150 or below. Dr. Pedretti said this is somewhat normal of an elevation, saying
some Accutane patients even continue their treatment while levels have reached 300.
Still, she said it was important to continue to monitor my blood levels throughout the rest of my treatment. This month, I was unable to skip my blood test like originally planned—but if that’s the price I need to pay to get my monthly dosage of this miracle drug, I’m ready to have 100 needles stabbed into my veins.
This month, my levels have risen to 200, but Dr. Pedretti still decided to continue me on the 50mg dosage twice per day.
As she suggested last month, my acne improved greatly in my third month. My cheeks have been especially painful (both to touch and look at) for the past six months, but were cleared significantly just a week after upping my dosage.
I saw improvement in my face after the first week of 50mg twice daily, and again in the fourth week of 50mg twice daily. Between then, my face flared up again extremely. I’m not entirely sure the exact cause of this, but I have several guesses.
1. My lack of makeup removal Halloween night
I have diligently removed my makeup every single night before bed for the past six months. It’s really annoying actually, because I used to be able to hop into bed without even thinking about it and just wash my face again in the morning. Though my acne is very aggressive and doesn’t really react to face wash or acne cream, I still think it’s important to remove my makeup nightly as to not aggravate my beast of a face any further.
Even though Accutane creates intense pressure on the patient’s liver, I have drank while on Accutane. Halloween was my last free weekend before I started working weekends for God knows how long, so I wasn’t about to waste it. Ultimately, I was probably just too drunk to remember to wash off my face. Even one night of slipping up aggravated my face, and it was back to harsh acne once again after that.
2. I moved across the state and started a new job
I now work in Green Bay, Wisconsin, at WBAY-TV. I applied for the position because it was in the same town as my best friend, Rebecca, lives, and I needed to get out of my parents house. I have felt an increased amount of stress once again jumping back into a slight long distance relationship (though it’s much easier than our Wisconsin-Indiana relationship was for the past two years; this time we’re at least in the same state and have seen each other weekly so far!) and working in the intense news field, in an area of news I didn’t entirely want to be a part of.
It’s always scary starting a new job, and suddenly working as a producer, I felt that I was saying goodbye to my dreams of reporting forever. It was a scary first two weeks, but by the third and fourth weeks of work, I’ve finally started to get the hang of my job—and actually like it a bit too.
Still, starting a new career in a new part of the state is difficult, and I’m not surprised if the stress of that caused another flare up. For now, I am still happy to say that my face has cleared significantly compared to month two, and once I get the hang of my job a bit more, my stress levels will diminish.
The most recent symptoms are basically the same as they have been the past few months, just in increased forms.
My lips are still severely chapped. They burn most of the time, and I’m not entirely sure how much dry skin I’ve consumed over the past few months. Would I get cannibal-based websites if I Googled how many calories skin was per serving? Just kidding ;)
As I said in my month three blog post, my lips had an allergic reaction to lipstick last month and broke out in hives. I took a photo of it when it happened again, and it is not pretty. My first outbreak was the end of month two, and since then I’ve had two other outbreaks.
Dr. Pedretti had never seen anything like this before—and showed my photo to her colleague, who had never seen it before either. When it happens, it usually lasts for less than 24 hours. It goes away during this time when I apply Vaseline to the area. Regardless, it’s still pretty gross.
Dr. Pedretti believes this is not an allergic reaction to Accutane. If it were, she says, I would have it throughout my entire course of treatment. Rather, she suggests that it is a result of my use of Blistex Medicated Lip Balm. With that in mind, I’m downgrading from using Blistex and Aquaphor to just using Vaseline, and a lip balm called Dr. Dan’s Lip Balm, that my dermatologist suggested. It has one percent hydrocortisone, which she believes will help my lips avoid hives breakouts and stay moist.
This past month, my nose has started to get increasingly dry as well. My dermatologist warned me about this in the coming winter months, and told me to place Vaseline in my nostrils to keep them moist. Sometimes I am more troubled by the pain in my right nostril than I am with the intense acne around my face. I pull out chunks of dead skin from my nostrils daily. It’s disgusting and painful. This winter season may just be the worst of my life.
It’s really troubling to me having to use Vaseline so often. When I went off to college, I bought a miniature tub of Vaseline for my dorm. That mini tub lasted until the end of my senior year, and now my old roommate still has it. Three months of Accutane, and I’ve gone through half of a large size Vaseline tub.
I’m not annoyed about the amount I use, but rather how bulky and gross it is. I hate carrying around a giant Vaseline tub with me everywhere I go.
Side note: I did try to buy the small sized Vaseline made specifically for lips, and it’s much stickier and less useful than legitimate Vaseline.
I really dislike the stickiness of Vaseline, and feel like I have it all over me all the time. When I’m done applying it, I usually just wipe it on the walls—so it’s all over the walls in my apartment and in my boyfriend’s bedroom. Sorry, Tom—he really hates it; I just don’t know where to put it. And it’s not like you can really see it anyway, unless the light hits it just right.
My next main issue is my eyes. About a month and a half ago, I got a stye in my right eye. I thought it was strange because, as previously mentioned, I take off my makeup nightly. I thought perhaps I had old mascara or something, and went to the doctor and it was fixed right away.
Then, a few days ago, I felt my eye getting a stye again. This made no sense to me, because I just bought new mascara two weeks ago—and I go through eyeliner too quick for it to be old enough to cause an infection. I had my monthly Accutane appointment and didn’t want to make a primary care appointment, so I just asked my dermatologist.
It turns out Accutane is what’s causing my styes. As Accutane is a drying drug, my eyes are not exempt from this. My current stye is on the edge of my eye, farthest from my nose. My dermatologist said that styes don’t usually appear there—but because of my Accutane dryness, it’s probably a result of my eyes watering in that direction when I go outside. I’m instructed to put Vaseline around my eyes at night to keep them as moist as possible now, to avoid any further styes.
All of this has had me praying about my acne a bunch. This isn’t something that’s uncommon for me.
My face has been on and off again out of control for majority of my life. My new prayer, however, is that Accutane will work, because I’m increasingly paranoid that my acne-covered face will be plastered across the Internet and my social media pages, and still it will not clear.
Most days, I feel like my broken out face is normal—which it has been for the last six months. I don’t stress out about my face, and just expect myself to look broken out. Some days I’m pleasantly surprised by how well I can cover it—but about once a month I have a day of weakness, and feel like I’m hitting a wall. Will my face ever be clear again? How on earth have I managed to pull myself out of bed the past six months and live with pretend confidence? I’m not entirely sure, but somehow I’ve survived.
These moments of weakness are normal, and honestly, this past month has been really positive for my acne. I’ve gone through a lot of changes personally, but my face has improved overall. I still struggle with the thought of my face, but I am very excited to be HALF WAY DONE with my treatment.
Accutane has been rough on my body, and self-esteem, but that’s part of life. When I look back on this time period, it will feel like it’s gone by in the blink of a stye-ridden eye. (Well maybe not exactly, but it will hopefully feel rather quick!)
This treatment will be worth it, and I will one day soon have a clear face that I will post all over for the world to see! Until then, thank you so much to every person who has helped me along in my journey. My boyfriend and roommate are increasingly supportive, but so are the rest of my friends—and even acquaintances.
Besides just commenting on my posts, people have messaged me on Facebook or came up to me at bars telling me how much they enjoy my blog, to “stay strong,” and how they have struggled too. If nothing else, this shows how common acne is. Thank you everyone!
Three more months and the world of clear skin is my oyster!
Happy Accutane treatments to you all!
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