The Fifth Month

UPDATE Month Five on Accutane Treatment

Wow. Just wow.

I’m one week into my fifth month of Accutane, and I am as a happy as I have ever been with my complexion. When starting my fourth month of Accutane, my dermatologist told me the fifth month would really be the changing period. Boy, was she right.

I have made huge strides in my face since last month. Over the course of the fourth month, I received two small blemishes. So far in the fifth, I’ve received ZERO. My face is completely and totally flat, which for an acne sufferer is the greatest joy. Instead of having ridges all along my face with a million large and painful bumps, my face is smooth and clear.

While I still have acne scars all over my face, they are lessening since last month. I’m pretty positive I’ll still have the scars even when I’m done with my Accutane treatment, but they will fade with time. According to my dermatologist, Dr. Pedretti, many Accutane patients find that scars fade in the months following the conclusion of their Accutane. So even after I’m finished, I’ll have things to look forward to.

Instead of documenting side effects in this blog post, I feel like I’m listing all the positive things. Into my fifth month on Accutane, I am no longer embarrassed to leave the house. I am no longer self-conscious when talking to people who don’t (or even do) know my acne condition. This is especially refreshing one two levels:

I feel confident leaving the house without makeup. When my roommate snap chats me after just waking up (which is most of the time because our schedules are opposite) I am no longer wearing acne cream all over my face, and I’m not hiding behind my hands. It’s way more convenient to be okay with the complexion on your face than it is to be uncomfortable with it, let me tell you.
Wearing makeup actually makes me feel confident these days. Layers upon layers of makeup used to make me feel subpar back in the days of severe acne, as I documented in previous posts. But now, I feel happy with the way I look when my face is covered. There are no more bumps that stick out, and my makeup generally stays on for as long as I need it to. On weekends I work 12 hours shifts, and my makeup is the same from start to finish. Another important thing to note with this bullet point is that applying my makeup takes significantly less time. Which means there is more time to watch Gilmore Girls before work. #Winning

When I say my prayers, I thank God for Accutane. I am so blessed to live in a world where dermatologist appointments are available, and my insurance covers the cost.

I made my first Accutane appointment in May 2015 for July 2015 (the first opening available), and was able to start my treatment in August 2015. I had just graduated college, and it was a legitimate concern of mine finding a job that would affect my Accutane treatment. Now that I’ve grown semi-accustom to living a life with a clear face, it’s silly to me that I would limit my job search for a location near my dermatologist.

At one point I was interviewing for a job in Fort Myers, Florida, about a 22-hour drive from my dermatologist in Wisconsin, and I was stressed beyond belief. Advancing my career in Fort Myers would mean I would have to wait even longer for a clear face.

My Wisconsin-based insurance surely wouldn’t be accepted in The Sunshine State, so I would have to change from my parents’ insurance to my work insurance. This may take up to 90 days to kick in, meaning three more months to wait on Accutane. Meanwhile, dermatologist appointments fill up quickly—would I even be able to get an appointment in such a big city during this time? And if I did get my appointment within the three months, I would still have to wait an additional month to show two false pregnancy tests before I was legally allowed to start Accutane.

Crazy.

Thankfully, if you can believe I’m saying that, I was denied the job in Fort Myers, and instead got one in Green Bay. Now I’m only two hours from my dermatologist, and it’s rather simple to visit during my once a month appointments.

It’s still so crazy to me that I would ever stress about a dermatologist location in finding a new job. But that’s how much starting Accutane meant to me. Having a clear face was my number one priority because living with cystic acne affected me so poorly.

But the truth is, I don’t need a dermatologist. My acne didn’t affect my health in any way. My skin’s issues weren’t a legitimate concern to my wellbeing physically. But they have been a concern to my health mentally—and that’s something that affects many people who have acne.

What I’m really trying so say is that I am so happy with the results of my Accutane treatment, and feel I’m better for it. I have learned to be less judgmental through this process, because I have no idea what other people are going through, or how difficult it is for them to cope with. I have become more understanding of others, and honestly less sad or angry.

Through my Accutane treatment so far, I’ve really realized the importance of being nice to other people—because everyone is dealing with some kind of hardship. My hardship happened to be acne, and the outpour of love and support I received after posting my updates gave me bursts of immense happiness each and every month.

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me so far. I feel beyond blessed for you all.

One more month to go, people. I can already hear the hallelujah chorus.