The Seventh Month

UPDATE Month Seven on Accutane Treatment

Unfortunately, I’m back again. It took me a little while to decide to write this post, because I made such a big deal about finishing my Accutane treatment after six months. I even posted a photo with my last dermatologist appointment ever—back in January 2016! But alas, it was not my final dermatologist appointment. I broke out on my chin during my sixth month—to clarify, one very small blemish—and decided to go

back for another month of Accutane. According to Dr. Pedretti, 20 percent of patients require a repeat

course of Accutane—majority of them women. Taking another 60 pills of the drug during this current treatment would lessen the chance that I would need another course of Accutane in the future. I figure, it’s worth the extra 30 days to avoid another course. But to be completely honest, I didn’t want to continue Accutane. Since May 2015, I’ve been telling myself, “In February 2016, you’ll be done with Accutane forever. Your face will be clear, and life will be sweet.” It was truly heartbreaking for me to reach my deadline, and have to continue on for even longer. This last month of Accutane seems to be longer than any of the other months put together. I am ready to be finished. Thankfully, I’m on my second to last pack of Accutane currently, and will (really) take my last pill in six days. Less than a week, and my life will start to go back to normal. The seventh month of Accutane has been a struggle for reasons beyond the pushed-back deadline. Symptoms include, but are not limited to:

Bloody nose
Crusty nose
Crusty eyes
Flaky eyelids
Flaky facial skin
Crusty lips
Dry lips

As much as I love Vaseline, I am sick of it. Again, it’s really inconvenient to carry around. I get

embarrassed of it. When I put it in my jacket pocket, it protrudes out, and makes my outfit look weirder than it probably already does. I just want to be a normal girl, whose lips don’t burn every hour when her Vaseline wears off. And if we’re really stretching, I want to be a normal girl who doesn’t have to wear Vaseline on her lips—and can instead wear a basic lip balm, and feel fine all day long. I want to go to sleep without putting Vaseline around my eyelids, and wake up without my eyelids crusted together. And I want my nose to quit flaking, bleeding and flaking out chunks of blood. I am fed up with all these side effects.

But let’s remember the reason for all these side effects, shall we? Not once in my awful rant did I mention acne. That’s right—my face is as clear as crystal. Even my acne scars are starting to heal up. In early months, I remember telling myself that these crazy side effects were worth it. To leave the house without makeup freely, and not tear up every time I look in the mirror. Those were the goals to achieve, and the side effects I received because of the treatment were almost bonuses, showing me that the drug is in my system, and one day my face will be clear. It’s been so long since my face has had real, true acne. The chin blemish that urged me to continue on to a seventh month of Accutane was just me being crazy—it was easily covered with makeup, and went away in the better part of a workweek. (Truly, I just hate the idea of a second course of Accutane treatment! Better safe than sorry!)

If you can believe it, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to hate my face and be ashamed of my skin. If I’m worried about the side effects now, it’s only because my prescription is working.

Yes, I am over the moon about finishing Accutane in less than a month. I cannot wait to be a true survivor. I know it’ll take about one month for the drug to completely leave my system, thus the drying side effects will likely continue into April. But there is an end in sight. And again, I’m blessed. I have the means to go to a dermatologist, and insurance to cover those appointments and the drug. I’m blessed to have the support system that I do too. So many people have been behind me, cheering for me during this time. And many others have shared stories with me too—about their acne troubles, Accutane treatments, self-esteem issues, and many other insecurities. Truly, it’s touched my soul hearing all these things, and knowing we all have something going on behind closed doors. Maybe my Facebook posts promoting this blog are annoying, but hey—I got your attention, didn’t I? And sure, I’ve moved on to other flaws that I dislike about myself, but finally I can be happy with my face. It’s all a learning experience, as I try to become more comfortable in my own skin. Writing this blog has helped me with that, and to know that my college degree didn’t actually go to waste: S/O to the best journalism program in the Midwest: Ball State University’s College of Communication and Integrated Media. My work is actually making a difference—and that excitement radiates beyond my shining complexion.